Then there are those that walk among us, those that prowl the strip clubs that drive girls insane...
The Veteran
They came, they saw, they know it all. They're in the club every day, if not, every week probably most of their life time. The amount of decades they've been there is unknown because they were there since you've started dancing, and you think they might as well just live there.
I ponder what drove them to waste so much of time (and money) coming to strip clubs, are they that incapable of social skills with women that they must have girls constantly coming up to them selling their fake sweet, sexy, flirty bullshit? Do they really feel that lonely that they need constant attention? Perhaps they think they'll be able to pick up a dancer if they stuck around long enough.
They virtually never buy shows, as they've "seen it all before". At least they buy you a drink to start your night. They seem to boast "I've been coming here for over 10 years/I've been coming here since you were even born" like it's something amazing to brag about.
Typical quotes from The Veteran:
"Candy has been working here for x amount of years, she used to be called Angel and started out waitressing"
"Back in the 90s, a dance used to cost only this much!"
"I'm a member, I'm here to see they weekly free show"
Captain Save-A-Ho
These beings wonder into the club environment like they are entitled to the world, they may tip sparingly at the tipping rail, might even buy one show. Within minutes of talking, they waste no time telling you how you are "too good to be working in a place like this" and question why you would go demeaning yourself like this. Boasting about what a great job they have/great money they make is a typical characteristic for these men. They want to whisk you away from this hell hole of a place, and make all your fears, pain, and sorrows go away.
Typical lines from a Ho Saver:
"I earn 6 figures a year, I can definitely take care of you"
"Why don't you come and work for me, I give good "incentives"
"You're too good/intelligent for this place, you don't belong here".
The Cop-A-Feel
These cunning creatures strike at every chance they get for a bit of touchy touchy. Whether it be an "innocent" brush of the back hand pretending to be in deep conversation while using a lot of hand gestures, or inching their hands closer and closer to their favored destination thinking that you're oblivious. They also like to strike fast when your hands are not on guard. They are given a number of a warnings, but still dare to defy the rules... Till you walk out mid dance and announce the show is over.
There are two variations of this unique type of species. First one is the "Walk By Feeler" name explains it all. In the strip club kingdom, these "Walk By Feeler's" favourite time to strike is when it's a fairly busy environment. They camouflage with the rest of the males, and are never to be seen again. This helps with their survival... As they are nearly never caught. The second are the ones that claim the shows are way too expensive/can get more bang for their buck and 'more' down the road, and attempt to cop a free feel under the table.
Classic quotes from a Feeler:
"I can make you feel good/cum in 30 seconds"
"But I just can't resist, you are just so sexy/beautiful/fuckable"
"But Diamond over there let me finger her pussy, why can't I?"
The Admirer
Sharing similarities to The Veteran, they don't buy shows, some don't even buy you a drink. They replace their money with compliments and date proposals, and for some reason think that you will some how, and some way, go out with them. These species are usually in their own little world, persuading you to give up your number. Or vice versa. "This stripper must really like me! She's laughing at my jokes! Look at the way she looks at me!" When pushing for a sale, they will attempt to divert your attention to something else like "when will I see you on stage?" they think that you're happy to get naked for free on stage while they look from a distance. It is evident that they lack the common sense to question if the dancer is really into them. But they don't care. These guys will even go as far as following you out the door when you're ready for home. Lacking people and life skills? Clearly.
Typical lines from these noobs:
"I don't buy dances, but I'd like to take you out sometime"
"I know you're into me/want me, you don't have to hide it"
"What time do you finish?"
Mister VIP
Most of these creatures are delusional. They think that they're important because they once shook hands with the owners, maybe had a conversation or two, therefore they're best friends with the owner/manager/MC. They boast about having privileges, have met the Queen of England, Elvis, and is far more special than everyone else. When being pushed for a sale, these guys claim that they can get special discounts... Then fail miserably.
I met this one special guy one time that claimed he was so well knitted with the management that he threatened to get me fired because I wouldn't go out with him (looks like I'm still here and well bro).
Classic quotes:
*exclaims proudly* "Well I know Bob the owner, we are great friends. We hang out on a regular basis"
"I've met P. Diddy, T.I, Eminem, Lil Wayne, Madonna, and anyone else you can think of"
"I get special privileges than regular customers, I pretty much shit diamonds"
These are the main species in the strip club kingdom. You are destined to meet all of them at some point if you stick around long enough in this line of work. Maybe even rarer more "amazing" ones. But nonetheless, it's entertaining. Even more entertaining when I imagine shoving my stiletto heel into their scrotums.
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